Self to Self (less)

In the journey of realizing the self, many years are often wasted because we assume the self to be set in stone. We protect the self, represent the self in known practiced ways, and become more and more imprisoned over time. In my limited life so far, I have found a sort of relief by understanding the self as a river that's constantly changing while maintaining its main contents, making the self less vulnerable to the corroding effects of life's challenges, hence more adaptive.

I have found the following pattern recurrent in my experience of realizing the self.

1. The self is rooted on life assumptions in the beginning.

2. Then the self gets experienced based on early natural impulses. The me in the self is central at this time and is constantly negotiating with the immediate social environment.

3. Major life events and uniquely extreme life experiences follow, typically true for everyone.

4. Soon after life assumptions get revised.

5. Prioritization of what kind of principles, people, and pursuits matter in life follows.

6. Because of facing both positive and negative events, the person becomes less fearful of accumulating a range of experiences and faces negative emotions more comfortably.

7. Further streamlining of what matters follows.

8. With each added life jolt, a better sense of spirituality begins to emerge because this ends up being the only stable space in chaos, at least for some people. In other words, I may understand God or a higher force as a sign of stability across time and life's changing circumstances.

9. Then an introduction of habits and rituals, that keeps spiritual awareness intact, happens.

10. As a pleasant aftermath, the person may feel less vigilance and fear toward the death of self due to a better understanding between positive and negative events, and eventually between life and death.

11. In the end, a sort of freedom is realized by the self because greater value is put on the quality of life decisions, and primarily on what will matter even after life -- when the self won't exist, only the footprints of our deeds will.

    
    

    Ironically, the less I become conscious of myself, the more I begin to realize how I'm merely a dust particle in the vast universal space of other similar lives, some of whom find themselves in changing light more often than others.